Women's locker room at the gym:
Grandma1:...So I lost five pounds. Then I gained 7. But I just weighed myself and I've lost 2. So I'm back on track.
Grandma2: Good for you, Bernice! Are you dieting?
Grandma1: No, I don't believe in all those diets, all those fads, you know. I don't think they're healthy.
Grandma3: They're not, and they don't work either. I was on that South Park diet, and it didn't do a thing for me!